Lost Touch w/ Reality

My Petition to Save The Biebs !

A recent, spectacular Freshly Pressed post has put my brain into overdrive over the ridiculousness of the Biebalypse.

In case you have a life, let me get you caught up: Justin Bieber has not been behaving himself. He has been acting badly and making poor decisions. Why do we care? Not sure, other than years ago parents decided he was cute, bought their daughters a ton of tees and pillow cases with his photo on it and elevated him to “Role Model”.

Now that he is participating in behavior indicative of his age group [throwing eggs, drag racing, experimenting] and not acting the part of the shiny happy boy toy he was marketed to be, every one “wants their money back”.

If I had a Lamborghini and no parental supervision, would I be out racing? In a heartbeat. Isn’t that what they were created to do?

I was shocked to read this morning there is now a petition to deport Justin. Have you seen this ?

“We would like to see the dangerous, reckless, destructive and drug-abusing Justin Bieber deported and his green card revoked. He is not only threatening the safety of our people but he is also a terrible influence on our nation’s youth. We the people would like to remove Justin Bieber from our society.” and 

“We the people of the United States feel that we are being wrongly represented in the world of pop culture,”

I am not a fan either. My point is this – Why him ? Why now?

Stop right there: Do not send me a comment yet. I am NOT condoning his behavior. I am questioning our attitude.

As a nation we not only pardon this type of behavior but an entire industry is based on it. No one ever admits to reading all the trash we see at the check-out lanes in the grocery store, but I guarantee millions of us are. We create the young celebrity monsters to amuse us and then are shocked when we have to clean up the mess. If we are going to ship out Justin, can we at least weed out afew others in the process?

I realize we cannot deport citizens. I am not one of those women who sit around and complain yet have nothing constructive to offer. We are a nation of great influence, I say we convince other countries to take a few of these as Ambassadors:

The Kardashians: Yes, the whole lot of them. The damage being done by The Bieb’s influence is nothing compared to my pre-teen’s new found acceptance of the idea of the “Practice Wedding” and “First Marriage” after Kim’s 72 day marathon commitment. Thanks.

Assignment: North Korea. Kim Jong Whats-his-face can parade them through his throngs of starving faces as a warning against the evils of the western world.

Kesha: Has anyone else out there had to fight with their child over what is appropriate attire based on what this chick wears?

Assignment: Japan. I think she’s popular over there already, and her wardrobe is a step up from the Harajuku Girl trend.

This mess needs to go.

Miley Cirus: Just like Justin – a sweet and cute adolescent. Our girls grew up giggling at Hannah Montana and singing along to all the Disney-esque songs. Her latest song “Wrecking Ball” says so much !

Assignment: Turkey, combating the the human traffic/sex trade industry. Young, desperate girls are lured here from surrounding countries with the promise of work only to have them discover upon arrival they’ve been sold. Put a suit on, Miley!

We are in the presence of talent here.

Amanda Bynes and Lindsey Lohan: I am so tired of these two. I wish them well, I believe they are both in need of real help. I don’t understand what keeps them in the headlines other than their managers still sucking 10% off of them.

Assignment: Spokeswomen against child labor. Ship Amanda to India and Lindsey to Bangladesh and let them see what kids with real problems look like.

It’s a good start – then I’ll sign whatever petition you want !

The NHL by Any Other Name

Not an easy feat, to wax sentimental when your favorite spectator sport is Hockey. What can be more Walton-ish than gathering the kids around as one of our favorite teams takes the ice. Is there anything more heartwarming than Pixie, our sweet, 45 pound moppet, screaming  “Drop the gloves !”?

Yet even at such a time as now, well into the season and days away from the Winter Olympics; these men wielding sticks and spitting teeth do not inspire sonnets.

Legendary Bobby Clark & his million dollar smile

I considered a controversial post, perhaps “Why Hockey is better than Football” just to ruffle afew feathers.

Or I could do a  “Top 10 Reasons I eat-sleep-obsess About Hockey”.

But I’ve decided to write about my favorite side amusement, The Most “Hockey-ish” Names:

10) Fluery, Marc-Andre. As in snow flurry. Makes you think of ice. Oh c’mon – its ironic!

9) Oduya, Johnny.  “Hi my name is John, I play hockey”. Reply: “Oh, du ya ?”

8) Abdelkater, Justin. It reminds me of words such as “antagonize- er” and “instigate-er”.

7) Kronwall, Niklas . I’m pretty sure he not only plays for The Redwings but was a King beheaded in book 2 of Game of Thrones.

6) Jagr, Jaromir. Name bares similarities to “daggar” without all those silly added letters, don’t you think?

5) Markov, Andrei. The Russian translation for Markov is  “I see bulls eye on your head”.

4) Scott Hartnell. Ok, not a great name, I just like to watch him fight. Don’t judge, if you’ve been to a Flyers game, you’d understand.

3) Ignatushkin, Igor. I just don’t think it’s wise to mess with a guy named Igor. Or Vladimir [Malenkykh].

2) Bergeron, Patrice. Not a threatening name. But when I watch him play, I often wonder after beating another opponent in a face-off if he does not leave them with a “I laugh down my nose at you” in a French-Canadian accent.

And my favorite:

1) Quick, Jonathan. Goalie extrodinaire. Goalies need to be quick, watch 5 minutes of a game.

Could he have a more threatening, tough-guy last name? Sure, but “Don’t make me shove the puck down your neck” is not going to fit on the back of a jersey now is it?

I could add more, but spell-check is not liking this post and all the red wiggly lines under the names are starting to give me a headache.

And Tuuka Rask. He just rocks.

One Coconut Short

Were you among the generation longing for an  island laboratory in which to play mad scientist? What would it be like – free to run amok, inhibited by nothing other than your imagination and the occasional blunder by an inept First Mate!

The news of the passing of the actor, Russell Johnson aka “The Professor” immediately brought me back to my childhood. He will be forever engrained in my mind, and certain to be the genius  that will someday inspire me to fix our own GPS with nothing but borrowed hair pins and a coconut as my hubby and I sail the oceans. Sadly, we have no transistor radio on board.

I confess, I have had many laughs critiquing the validity of the entire premise of the Gilligan’s Island. But after several years of sailing on our own boat, I have new respect for the Professor and all he had to endure. Could there be anything worse than being stranded with such a group? I have more than once found myself contemplating jumping overboard to escape the sound of children bickering over the last granola bar as though we have left civilization forever. Had I been in Professor’s position, my time would have been spent constructing an electric outer perimeter to keep away the “stupid” while I worked.

I have also learned I misjudged the main “flaws” of the show:

1) If it was only a “3 hour tour”, how could they have gotten so lost? Trust me, it does NOT take 3 hours on a boat to become hopelessly lost !

2) And why would they have had all that luggage? Even on a day sail, I take an entire bag full of “stuff” – there is nothing worse than being miles out of port when hit by spray and waves and faced with spending the rest of the day soaking wet. Though Ginger’s choices were questionable….

Or maybe I need to step up my wardrobe!

3) All the chances to be rescued …… So many episodes where just alittle more effort or coordination could have resulted in their rescue. Island life wasn’t perfect, but really, who would want to go back ?

Consider the show interesting from a social and economic aspect. (Clearly, I put way to much thought into TV as a kid). Few circumstances have the ability to equalize the way the shipwreck did. In the flash of a lightening bolt, the Howell’s money became of no use. Ginger was no longer any more famous than anyone else. Ok, the Professor was still clearly smarter, but his status was severely hampered due to the lack of electric conductivity of coconuts. And he was always one short….

Hmm. Now that I think of it, if we were to translate our boat into “Gilligan’s Island” terms ….I would be the inept First Mate…