Not an easy feat, to wax sentimental when your favorite spectator sport is Hockey. What can be more Walton-ish than gathering the kids around as one of our favorite teams takes the ice. Is there anything more heartwarming than Pixie, our sweet, 45 pound moppet, screaming “Drop the gloves !”?
Yet even at such a time as now, well into the season and days away from the Winter Olympics; these men wielding sticks and spitting teeth do not inspire sonnets.
I considered a controversial post, perhaps “Why Hockey is better than Football” just to ruffle afew feathers.
Or I could do a “Top 10 Reasons I eat-sleep-obsess About Hockey”.
But I’ve decided to write about my favorite side amusement, The Most “Hockey-ish” Names:
10) Fluery, Marc-Andre. As in snow flurry. Makes you think of ice. Oh c’mon – its ironic!
9) Oduya, Johnny. “Hi my name is John, I play hockey”. Reply: “Oh, du ya ?”
8) Abdelkater, Justin. It reminds me of words such as “antagonize- er” and “instigate-er”.
7) Kronwall, Niklas . I’m pretty sure he not only plays for The Redwings but was a King beheaded in book 2 of Game of Thrones.
6) Jagr, Jaromir. Name bares similarities to “daggar” without all those silly added letters, don’t you think?
5) Markov, Andrei. The Russian translation for Markov is “I see bulls eye on your head”.
4) Scott Hartnell. Ok, not a great name, I just like to watch him fight. Don’t judge, if you’ve been to a Flyers game, you’d understand.
3) Ignatushkin, Igor. I just don’t think it’s wise to mess with a guy named Igor. Or Vladimir [Malenkykh].
2) Bergeron, Patrice. Not a threatening name. But when I watch him play, I often wonder after beating another opponent in a face-off if he does not leave them with a “I laugh down my nose at you” in a French-Canadian accent.
And my favorite:
1) Quick, Jonathan. Goalie extrodinaire. Goalies need to be quick, watch 5 minutes of a game.
Could he have a more threatening, tough-guy last name? Sure, but “Don’t make me shove the puck down your neck” is not going to fit on the back of a jersey now is it?
I could add more, but spell-check is not liking this post and all the red wiggly lines under the names are starting to give me a headache.